ICV Christmas Classics

by Ice Cream Vendors

/
  • Digital Album
    Streaming + Download

    Purchasable with gift card

     

    You own this

1.
All I ever wanted for Christmas was a straw hat to cover my head (with little frillies on the side) All I ever wanted for Christmas was a straw hat to cover my head (with a flower on the top) I don't care for anything extraneous just a hat to keep my head out of the rain You can have a tall hat, a small hat, a fat hat, a skinny hat You can have have any kind of hat you want But not like that When you wear a hat with frillies on the back, you look like a girl! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Don't wear a hat like that Don't wear a hat like that Don't wear a hat like that Don't wear a hat like that Why does no one believe in me? This hat of mine is no fantasy Everyone scorns what they can't believe This man on the street goes off and yells at me for looking at silly hats in a window What right has he to wreck me dreams? "Oh but not a hat like that" Hey there little boy. Hi. You like hats? Yes. Do you like Straw? Oh yes! I'll sell one to you. For how much? Only about sixty dollars. Oh that's all my allowance. Here you go. I can't believe it's true. I've found a hat of straw for me and you! I can't believe I've got this hat it's sitting in my hands I paid my fee of sixty bucks Well ain't that grand? I'll be the envy of the town When I wear my hat around You'll see my on the street and say "Hey, that hat is really neat." Hey there little boy What's that on your head? It's a straw hat You're dead! Last night at the station someone reported a hat of straw Don't you know that stealing, little boy means you're breaking the law? But I bought it from a vendor who was selling on the street He said he had a license Should I know that he's a cheat? I'm sorry little boy but It's that hat I'll confiscate It's incriminating evidence the judge will need to throw you away! All I ever wanted for Christmas was a straw hat to cover my head (with little frillies on the back and a nice daisy)
2.
When Santa came down my chimney he didn't know it was lit And when he touched the fire he screamed out loud oh Oh when he came out of the chimney his suit was burnt and black My Daddy thought he was a burglar And he hit him with a bat and he said Ow Santa Clumsy Santa Where do you come from? Santa Clumsy Santa Why are you so dumb? You are so dumb He found the milk and cookies It was two-percent low fat And while he was a-dunkin' He sat right on my cat Looking for the Christmas tree His presents in his sack He tripped on my nintendo And landed on his back He hurt his back Santa Clumsy Santa Where do you come from? Santa Clumsy Santa Why are you so dumb? You are so dumb When he found the Christmas tree He saw an open door When he went to shut it He heard a mighty Roar Investigating further He looked down at his feet And found out he had turned our dog Into a pile of meat Big pile of Meat Santa Clumsy Santa Where do you come from? Santa Clumsy Santa Why are you so dumb? You are so dumb After he put the presents underneath our Christmas Tree He began to walk away and bumped right into me I helped him up and said "Hey Santa, just go out the door!" Now that I have helped him so He is clumsy no more He is not dumb Santa is not clumsy He comes from the north pole Santa is not clumsy His reindeer fell in a hole and he says Ho Ho Ho
3.
Ricki-Ticki Christmas Bunny make me laugh cause your so funny Ricki-Ticki The Christmas Bunny Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
4.
I eat a chicken sandwich, a Christmas chicken sandwich It tastes like a Christmas tree and when I'm feeling happy, or maybe kind of sappy it reminds me of Christmas eve One day I was hungry so I went to eat lunch at the Oak Brook shopping mall Ordered chicken sandwich, It was really puny I looked at her and said "zat all?" Looking for a table, sat down at this table a napkin in my lap When I went to bite it, I didn't try to hide it dripping out of it came sap Right after I ate it is when I really felt it a pine needle in my tongue I was feeling sappy but now I'm really happy Gee isn't Christmas fun? I eat a chicken sandwich, a Christmas chicken sandwich It tastes like a Christmas tree and when I'm feeling happy, or maybe kind of sappy it reminds me of Christmas eve One day I went sledding, crashed into a big tree Smacked me in the head ow ow I went into a coma, I didn't know what happened For all I knew I was dead Next I heard was cheering but I was feeling weary I asked what was the date. It was January, the first day of the year for Christmas, I'm too late I eat a chicken sandwich, a Christmas chicken sandwich It tastes like a Christmas tree and when I'm feeling happy, or maybe kind of sappy it reminds me of Christmas eve Christmas is all over, I can't believe I missed it It's my favorite time of the year So I eat this chicken sandwich, this Christmas chicken sandwich and Christmastime sure seems near I ride a flying toaster faster than a roller coaster visiting the North Pole Because I want to visit, who do I want to visit? I will tell you now: Santa Clumsy Santa Where do you come from? Santa Clumsy Santa Why are you so dumb? You are so dumb We eat a chicken sandwich, a Christmas chicken sandwich It tastes like a Christmas tree and when I'm feeling happy, or maybe kind of sappy it reminds me of Christmas eve

about

Written and performed by Jon Kostal and Greg Barnett. From the ICV Archives. Originally released on the Cassette series Christmas Grooves by Kostal Studios, 60559.

credits

released November 1, 2010

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Ice Cream Vendors Westmont

The Ice Cream Vendors (ICV), made up of longtime pals Jon Kostal and Greg Barnett, is not just a musical duo but a mysterious life force. Those familiar with Jon and Greg know that boy meets girl lyrics and verse/verse/chorus clichés are simply not in their genetic makeup. Defying classification, ICV examines its subjects through a sometimes-surreal lens, but always with fondness and curiosity. ... more

contact / help

Contact Ice Cream Vendors

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account