Dr. Schutte's Prescription Water Machine

by Ice Cream Vendors

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This track was written especially for a kickstarter reward for one Dr. Erin Schutte. It is an Ice Cream Vendors contrived interpretation of the truth. We hope the good news.


When she was a child, Erin liked to drink
water from the sink, and every time she smiled
Because she knew that water could be better than it ever was
So the story goes, she'd be the one to make water better

Waterbury elementary school, Gatorade and sodi-pop were cool
Milk and lots of fruity juice were good for you and you and you and you and Yu
Yes, and eating lunch one day, sitting next to Pat O'Day
Erin said to Pat, "What makes these things the same?"
and Pat proceeded to explain

It's Water
I think it's water
It must be water

In Springwood Junior High, Jeff Trzaskus caught her eye
She was playing clarinet and she thought he was really cool
The rain started to fall, but is it safe to drink?
A puddle's not a sink, I wish that I could make water better
Then at Lake Park High, She wasn't on the dance team
Drinking water in-between band and other activities
Science club was best, that's where she was free
to build her new machine, college, grad school, she's a doctor

Prescription water machine
Ozonated, micro-filtered and clean
Can you get it from a vending machine?
Patent pending for the sick and healthy

50 billion liters of water were consumed in the USA in 2007
50 billion liters of water were consumed in the USA in 2008
One bottle of water produces a half pound of greenhouse gasses, helping keep our planet warm
Dr. Schutte's prescription water machine has been combating dehydration since its creation
Almost twelve days now
South Africa could flood the world with diamonds if they wanted to
They choose not to

Dr. Schutte took her creation on the road, helping thirsty people in Columbus, Ohio
Dr. Martin said "I think you've got something there. May I come along with you and take it everywhere."
Dr. Schutte paused in a moment of repose, "It'd be nice to have you come along so I suppose."

Traveling around the nations bars, here's a pair of water superstars
Alcohol can make you feel so very dry, dehydrated, what would you prescribe?

It's only water
Just drink this water

The doctor and the doctor chartered a helicopter
They thought that it'd be proper to bring third world countries water
They started in Belize, then went to Uzbekistan
They flew into the Conga, then they flew into Japan
Dr. Martin said to Dr. Schutte's face
"Let's go back to Illinois and get a little place by the river."
Dr. Schutte smiled, Brownie Ring now Dr. Martin

Dr. Schutte's prescription water machine
in mass production, as seen on TV
They're helping people indefatigably
It's only water, and it's just a machine
Dr. Schutte
Erin Schutte
Dr. Martin Schutte
Dr. Martin and Erin Schutte


released April 3, 2013
Written and performed by Jon Kostal and Greg Barnett.
Guitar performed by Michael Kostal.
Cover art by Heather Kostal.


all rights reserved



Ice Cream Vendors Westmont

The Ice Cream Vendors (ICV), made up of longtime pals Jon Kostal and Greg Barnett, is not just a musical duo but a mysterious life force. Those familiar with Jon and Greg know that boy meets girl lyrics and verse/verse/chorus clichés are simply not in their genetic makeup. Defying classification, ICV examines its subjects through a sometimes-surreal lens, but always with fondness and curiosity. ... more

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